Before You Become A Parent

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These are the things no one talks about, however, they are something you should know before you become a parent. Or should not. Well, they can be quite discouraging, but still, we want you to know about them!

  1. Hormones are going to do some crazy things to your wife. Sure, great boobs may happen, however, hair on weird spots can happen too. For example on upper lip.
  2. You will not listen to your music anymore once your child is born. Prepare to only listen to one CD. All the time. CD with some weird music for babies. And you will only watch cartoons and fairy-tales. No real movies, never.
  3. Going to the grocery store will become a nightmare. Something that will be impossible to do.
  4. You will have no social life. Seriously. All that you will do is hang out with your child. And other fathers.
  5. Your car will be messy. And you will be too tired to clean it up so you will just let it be as it is.
  6. Losing the baby weight will not be as easy as you expected. And it will be quite depressing because guess who will be on the diet with your wife.
  7. Your clothes will smell like vomit. All of them.
  8. You will mostly be cleaning up poo and pee of the carpet, clothes, couch, etc.
  9. Most of the conversations you have with your wife will be about the dirt, the food and your baby.
  10. After your wife gives birth, she will probably not be that into sex for at least two months.
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