It is not really easy to find out whether the vaginismus of your girlfriend is a result of past trauma of caused by physical issues. The fact is that if your girlfriend does not know, then it is highly unlikely that you will figure it out. It is her who needs to take care of this issue, however, you can help her. And we know that you do want to help her, right?
Well, if your girlfriend experiences pain during the sex, or if she is avoiding sex, then the reason may be vaginismus. Vaginismus is a discomfort, tightness that appears suddenly during intercourse. The tightness of the muscles around vagina is what causes vaginismus. The thing is, this occurs without the control of a woman. So no matter how hard she tries, she cannot really do much.
However, if you think that the reasom may be non-physical, here are some signs that will help you decide:
- The fear may be the cause. If your girlfriend is too concerned with not getting pregnant, perhaps it causes the vaginismus. Or if she is concerned with getting hurt, or getting STD, that may be the sign of the potential cause of vaginismus.
- Perhaps she just does not think she is good. And the vaginismus is simply caused by the anxiety. You have to talk about sex. If you think she is not relaxed and that she always tries to impress you with new underwear, etc. Anxiety is the cause!
- Think about her previous experience. Was her partner abusive? Or did they have any other issue? This thing may be the cuase of vaginismus. Talk to her!
- A traumatic event from the past. Did anything happen to her that might cause her to be scared? You need to deal with it!
- The education. What did her parents teach her about sex? Were they too religious? What if your girlfriend believes that sex is bad? If you know that she did not learn much about sex when she was young, perhaps you know what the reason is.
Well, to be honest, it is not always easy to find out the cause. No symptoms can tell you for sure. And the thing is that vaginismus can occur without any real cause. So, you should perhaps talk to her and help her deal with this issue.